Last week I received a message via FB that read “Congratulations on your book. My advice is to take a career break, for 1 year and keep trying.” My initial thought was to ask ‘keep trying for what?’ then it dawned on me what she was saying. After I got past my anger and shared the comment with my husband and fellow GW plan Bers (which really helped to inject some humour into the situation especially with the suggested responses they provided) I wondered why this person thought that this was something I needed to hear.
It goes back to my blog regarding others wanting to fix this for us although I did wonder what my year would be like with me lying on my back waiting for my husband to return home, stressed after a hard days work trying to make up for the shortfall in our income whilst worrying about how we were going to pay our mortgage (I guess the person didn’t consider that I may not be able to afford to take a year off work). Hubbie would come home and ask “what is for dinner?” and I would reply “fertilised eggs if you’re lucky”. I also wondered what advise that person would give me if I didn’t fall pregnant after my year of R&R???
On a brighter note my younger brother shared my talk from IWD with someone close to him, which then led to a wonderful opportunity for me. I got to share my experience with someone new (who I probably would never have reached on my own) and I was honoured that they trusted me enough to share their story too.
As scary as my journey was in the beginning when I talk with other women who have not talked about their stories before, I realise how far I have come and how much my honesty is opening doors and providing the opportunity for others to talk through their own experiences too. I now realise that, up until that moment, they too had remained silent in their pain and grief locked in a world that others are reluctant to bear witness too themselves.