Crossing The Bridge

I recently attended The Bridge Retreat hosted by Donna Lancaster and Gabi Krueger. At some point earlier in the year, and after hearing others talk about retreats, I had the urge to attend one myself. Apart from anything else this year has been a revealing one, one that has added another layer to the difficulties that I’ve been experiencing over the past 6+ years. From unsuccessfully trying to start a family with my husband, the breakdown of my marriage to constantly being called a bully at work which then lead me to having an identify crisis in 2018. During these times I was grateful for the good stuff in my life as these were the things that I could cling on to, like my connection and work for Gateway Women, that gave me so my joy and kept my grounded however I still found myself feeling more and more misunderstood. I was getting lost in other people’s opinions of me and found myself wondering, “who am I?” I’d hear the attributes that others would attach to ‘someone being a nice person’, ones that they didn’t necessarily attach to me (especially as a female manager or even a black female manager) and I found myself having to cling on to the truth, for myself, that I am a nice person no matter what others said knowing that I was just a different version of myself depending on the person I was around or the situation I was in – which I guess lead me to feel misunderstood, lost and confused.

On Christmas Eve I turn 50 and felt like this was the time for me to get back in touch with me. Pre Covid I had planned to be on my own on a beach somewhere exotic, that then changed to signing up for the residential Bridge Retreat in December, yep after looking into it and talking to Gabi, I felt that The Bridge would be what I was looking for. It was what I needed to get back to me and reconcile these feelings that I was battling with. Covid again changed those plans and the residential retreat moved on-line and instead of December I did it this month.

So November the 20th to 22nd became my 6 days of healing.

I entered into therapy 3 years ago at the breakdown of my marriage, which helped me to process a lot of my anger and grief I had at the time. Being on The Bridge I realised that all the work I had done over the years was through my head. I could already see how much I feel my way through situations and how empathic I’ve become however as much as I was feeling through my body I was processing through my head, from the neck up as Donna would say. I was disconnected. The Bridge helped me to reconcile my head with my body, to listen to my body and to process through my body – body shaking is such a wonderful tool.

The retreat gave me a place to switch off from my life, to stop and to hear. It gave me a place to be seen, heard and accepted. I had the honour of being witnessed and had the honour of being a witnessing others. I went on The Bridge feeling confused, misunderstood and unaccepted. I crossed the Bridge realising that I already know who I am I was just too afraid to be her because of other people’s opinions. For the first time I held my wounded child and gave her the love that she’d been longing for all this time. For the first time I could truly accept and love me. The Bridge gives us the opportunity to see and face the deficiencies that hold us back and in Donna’s words “The Bridge loves people into their healing” and “gives us our life force back”. I can’t say what tomorrow will being, what turning 50 or even what 2021 will bring for me but what I do know is that, thanks to Donna and Gabi, The Bridge has given me the gift of wanting to live the best version of me.

Meet Amy Ashwood Garvey: Black History Month 2020

Amy Ashwood Garvey (1897-1969) is the Jamaican born feminist, playwright, Pan-Africanist activist and ex wife of Marcus Garvey. Amy was a director of the Black Star line Steamship Corporation, and along with her former husband Marcus she founded the Negro World newspaper. She was one of the pioneering Black women journalists and publishers of the 20th century.

Amy founded the precursor organisation to the West African students (WASU) in London in 1924. She organised women’s organisations in West Africa and the Caribbean and became an important figure in the anti-racist movement in England working with Claudia Jones. She also helped to establish the International African Service Bureau and the London Afro-Women’s centre.

I just loved reading about Amy; she was such an inspirational, resilient woman who showed a great passion for women’s rights. Let’s face it, she was a bad-ass woman, I mean she just had to be given that she was operating in a very male (especially a white male) dominated society. Amy

  • opened the Florence Mills Social Club a jazz club on Carnaby Street, which became a gathering spot for supporters of Pan-Africanism
  • was involved in organising the first session of the 5th Pan-African Congress in Manchester in 1945 where she was only one of 2 two female presenters
  • gave talks to women’s groups
  • helped to set up the “Afro Peoples Centre” in Ladbroke Grove in 1953
  • co-founded the Association for the Advancement of Coloured People In the wake of the 1958 Notting Hill race riots

see bad-ass!!!…

I was particularly intrigued to learn that Ashwood had a relationship with a certain William Tubman the president of Liberia. I smiled when I read this as it reminded me of the time when I met one of the late prime minsters’ of Dominica, Pierre Charles… I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination

Ohhh I almost forgot, she is now one of my NoMo sheros, yep she didn’t have any children.

Well you can research more about Amy Ashwood Garvey at your leisure but for now I will leave you with a few of her quotes…

#blacknomorolemodels

Meet Claudia Jones: Black History Month 2020

So we looked at Black Women in Britain as part of the Great Black Women in History course I’ve been attending, that sadly ended on Wednesday. Now I like to dance and was so trilled to learn about Claudia Jones who is known as the mother of Notting Hill Carnival. #BlackNomoRoleModels #BlackHistoryMonth

I have so many great memories of Notting Hill carnival, I always remember my dad parking at my great aunt’s house and waling, as a family, over to the parade to watch the floats and the dancers in their colorful customs pass before my eyes. As a young child my dad would position my brother and me on each of his shoulders so that we would have a birds eye view of the procession. He proudly got to experience this tradition with his family year after year until I started to share this experience with my friends in my 20s, 30s and 40s. One year my dad purchased a manual ice-cream churn so that he could make ice-cream to sell at the carnival.

I remember having to sit at the churn tuning the handle whilst my dad poured in the ice, ignoring my pleas of “my arm hurts” whilst encouraging me not to stop. I remember the excitement on his face, liking his lips at the thought of tasting his delicious creation that would make its mark at carnival. I remember being on the staff (with his Dominican Nation Overseas Association group) where carnival goes would stop by dubious at the though of peanut butter ice-cream. “Buy one and taste it with your friends” my dad would say. One of the group bravely parted with their money on exchange for the cone that my dad proudly handed over. 2 minute later they were back ordering cones for the rest of the group, I can hear my dad’s laughter now – he knew they’d be back. I have tears as I remember those moments, moments that my children will never have with me.

There was one year that ‘jumped up’ in a Trinidadian band with my friends. Man that was a great year!!! We bought our compulsory T-shirts and customised them around our style and personalities  – I think I created slashes in the back of mine – and we partied, jumping up and around the carnival route. Nope I never got to share the magic of carnival with my own children but I have so many great memories that I created with my friends over the years thanks to Claudia Jones.

About Claudia:

Claudia Jones (21 February 1915 – 24 December 1964) was was a Trinidad and Tobago-born journalist and activist. As a child she migrated with her family to the US, where she became a political activist and black nationalist through Communism, using the false name Jones as “self-protective disinformation”.Due to the political persecution of Communists in the USA, she was deported in 1955 and subsequently resided in the United Kingdom. She founded Britain’s first major black newspaper, West Indian Gazette (WIG), in 1958.

Meet Bell Hooks: Black History Month 2020

So I was browsing through Jody’s Childless and Childfree women role models hall of fame and came across Bell Hooks. #NomoRoleModel #BlackHistoryMonth

Bell Hooks (1952-) is an American author, feminist, and social activist. Her writing has focused on the interconnectivity of race, capitalism, and gender, and what she describes as their ability to produce and perpetuate systems of oppression and class domination. Her 1984 book ‘From the Margins’ includes an excellent (and much misunderstood) critique of ‘motherhood’ and issues of what has come to be called ‘intersectionality’. She is childfree by choice.

I was introduced to Bell when I found and read her book “Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism”. I can’t remember what led me to her book, it’s likely that it came onto my radar whilst on one of my searches around the history of why black woman don’t talk [outside of the home] about our problems.

In the introduction to her book Ain’t I a Woman, Bell mentioned that “At the time in American history when black women in every area of the country might have joined together to demand social equality for women and a recognition of the impact of sexism on our social status, we were by and large silent. Our silence was not merely a reaction against white women liberationists or a gesture of solidarity with black male patriarchs. It was the silence of the oppressed – that profound silence engendered by resignation and acceptance of one’s lot… Racist, sexist socialisation had conditioned us to devalue our femaleness and to regard race as the only relevant label of identification. In other words, we were asked to deny a part of ourselves – and we did… We were a new generation of black women who had been taught to submit, to accept sexual inferiority, and to be silent.”

Bell’s book really helped me to see the depth and heaviness of the many years of oppression that I am unconsciously caring as a black woman. To read that “many people have difficulty appreciating black women as we are because of eagerness to impose an identity upon us based on any number of negative stereotypes” went a long way in helping me to recognise the experiences that I’ve faced over the years, the experiences that have me feeling like, no matter what I do, no matter how careful I am or how considerate I am, I am always seen as ‘wrong’. I am the perpetrator even when I am being oppressed, even when I am hurting. There is such a heaviness and sadness around this experience that it can sometimes be so difficult to put this into words without being seen as the “angry black woman”, when in fact, because of these experiences I am angry.

So I thank you for joining me in celebrating Bell Hooks an exceptional woman who is childfree by choice, who is not afraid to speak her truth and a woman who did not remain silent.

Meet Queen Bilikisu Sungbo: Black History Month 2020

5 weeks ago I started the Great Black Women in History course taught by Black History Studies and what has really struck me from the course is how instrumental black women were in shaping our legacy. Black women were strong and showed great resilience leading and fighting against men in war as resistance warriors standing up for the rights of their people.

Throughout the course I have been struck by how I, as a black woman, am seen because of my history. I am saddened that instead of the incredible strength that my ancestors passed down to me which should be celebrated, this strength, this fighting spirit is instead seen negatively to the point where I am stereotyped as the “angry black woman” because I chose to stand up for my truth, because I want to be heard.

Well today, at the start of Black History Month I have decided to reclaim my ancestors ‘bas-ass’ spirit and celebrate all that they mean to me. So I am going to start with Queen Bilikisu Sungbo. As you will see from her bio she was childless and was known as one of the greatest builders in history who built one of the largest cities the world has seen, during the middle ages, larger than Baghdad, Cairo, Codova and Rome.

You can order the book, The Great and Mighty Wall, and read more about Queen Sungbo and the construction of the earthen wall in Eredo, of South Western Nigeria.

It’s official I am ‘Still Hot’!

This morning I woke up to the following tweet on Twitter…

A few months ago I received an email from journalist Vicky Allan; Jessica Hepburn (Fertility Fest and author of 12 Miles) recommended that she contact me. In her email Vicky said that she “was blown away by my writing, especially my recent post Imitation of Life.” OMG a journalist was ‘blown away by my blogs’ – insert crazy, I’m so excited dancing – ok I am actually doing the crazy, I’m so excited dance right now!!!

Vicky wanted to reflect a wide range of women’s experiences of the perimenopause and menopause and felt that my story was/ is an important story to be heard. I’m still doing the excited dance!!!

So Vicky interviewed me back in August and today shared the cover of the book titled ‘Still Hot!’

I’m pinching myself to know that my story will sit alongside the stories of such amazing high profile women. To think that 6 years ago, at the start of my childless journey, I wouldn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through let alone allow anyone into my inner sanctum. What a journey!!!

You can pre-order you copy from Amazon – yes click on the word Amazon

World Childless Week 2020

As I think about World Childless Week starting tomorrow, Monday 14 September, it has dawned on me how far I have come since the start of my childless journey when I was told that I had unexplained infertility back in October 2014. The world of grief that I was then propelled into was, at times, indescribable to the point where I did not know how I would survive. I was so silenced by shame and confused that I could possible be grieving, it felt un-allowed and impossible that this could be true. But with the help of Jody Day’s plan B mentorship programme I came out on the other side knowing that there was the possibility that I could have a fulfilling life without children.

During the programme I decided that my plan B would be to ‘find my voice’ and let me tell you, that seemed so far fetched at the time. Me and my crazy ideas!!! But since then I haven’t stopped talking about how my childless status has impacted my life. That experience helped me to own my story and gave birth to my first book (child); Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate stories and portraits women without children.

Allowing myself to be vulnerable and owing my story has lead to some of the most amazing opportunities, from my interview with Jenni Murray on BBC radio 4s Women’s Hour and other numerous radio interviews, my public speaking opportunities – taking part in Fertility Fest being one of my most memorable

as well as my contributions to books such as Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day and Motherhood Missed by Lois Tonkin.

Oh and not forgetting being a trained facilitator of the Gateway Women’s’ Reignite Weekend workshops. What a journey!!! And to think before 2014 I found it hard to share anything so personal about myself with pretty much anyone – my inner critic was always there whispering the words “they will not like you if they knew what you’ve done”. I’m glad she’s been replaced with a new cheerleader, one that shouts, “I AM WORTH and I AM ENOUGH

During this journey I have come across so many women, especially black and Asian women who have been silenced by the cultural parameters that tells us not to bring shame on the family, not to talk about our problems outside of our home. Women who were grateful that they found someone who they could talk to who looked like them, someone would understand. I’ve been to honour to be in a position to listen and support them on their own childless journeys.

So as one of 23 World Childless Week Champions from around the world, I am proud to announce not only the start of World Childless Week tomorrow but I will be presenting my childless circle interviews with Meriel Whale for Diversity day on Tuesday 16th. The interviews will be live at 7.30pm.

#worldchildlessweek

The Unseen Grief

Covid-19 has definitely taken on a life of it’s own. Such a powerful, unseen force that has turned our lives upside down. This unprecedented, unplanned, unwelcomed virus brought destruction – changing our lives in a way that we could not have expected or predicted. But does that mean we have to let it control our lives, our beings or the essence of who we are? Yes there will be a new normal, an unknown that brings with it its own sense of uncertainty but we can stop and look at the here and now.

There are on-line posts where childless women are reflecting on their status and what this lockdown have brought – the quietness of their homes, weather it’s, the lack of children or the lack of a partner (as well as the lack of a child), for me it’s the place where I’ve felt my most unsettled. I couldn’t quite decide how I felt about what this virus brought into my life, all I could see were the things that were supposed to make my life better come to a sudden halt; my hysterectomy, my divorce, things at work that “will not be going ahead right now” – these things in my life, the things that would make a change when they ended were all, suddenly, put on hold with no ending in sight. I lost control of the future that I had been dreaming of and all at once I felt empty – sound familiar?

I also lost a part of my present, I lost a friend. No they didn’t die (my heart does go out to all those who have lost someone during this time) but their presence was suddenly removed from my life and that presence is one that I will miss. It’s like the un-written rules that we’ve lived by were changed without our consent, without us being able to agree or even negotiate what this change would look like. Human touch; a handshake, a hug, 1 on 1 interactions replaced with Zoom calls and unspoken needs urging me to give up even more of the little time that I have for myself.  It felt like I was losing my privacy with the insistence to connect on a weekly basis when prior to lockdown we barely spoke at all with the exception of WhatsApp, text messages and/or email. It felt like I’d lost the ability to live my life how I wanted to live it, it felt like if I said “No” that there was something wrong with me. It’s funny, I actually thought that I’d have time on my hands to catch up on my to-do list, to do the stuff I’d been meaning to do for ages but was not finding the time to dedicate to it. Post lockdown I felt like I had less time for me than I had before.

On reflection I guess our world is grieving. We are grieving the loss of a life we once knew – we had hopes and dreams for this life; if we did A then B would happen. Ok I know it’s not that simple but the point is we were secure in a certain belief. Now that belief has been shaken and replaced with a ‘who knows what will happen next’? I’m pretty sure that we can all agree that there will be a new normal but what will that new normal look like? When will we get to that place, how will we even know when we are there?

I guess what I am trying to say here is that instead of rushing to find a different meaning to our existence, a new place of security or creating a new sense of security, maybe this is a time for us to stop and find some peace in the here and now. Maybe this is our time for reflection to review what really is important in our lives or even to simply clear out the things that do not serve a purpose anymore. Maybe it’s time to see what we need for ourselves. For me, until I allowed myself to stop getting swept up in what everyone around me needed I wasn’t able to put my needs first, I wasn’t able to feel the hurt or even deal with what had changed. When that friend left my life I kind of felt like this shouldn’t be happening at this time (people are dying at an accelerated rate for crying out loud we should be valuing the people in our lives shouldn’t we???). Again it was something that wasn’t allowed but the reality is, we were always allowed to make choices that suites us, the choice for me to be happy may mean that someone else is left feeling unhappy and at this time it seems like the wrong choice to make (because that person may be on their own and feeling lonely) but the one thing that Covid-19 has shown me is that life is to short not to look after ourselves and put us first. Life if too short for me to stop once in a while and ask myself what do I need now???

Grieving as a Black Woman

LTLU: ‘Living The Life Unexpected’ – Blog Tour

I remember the first time Jody and I had a conversation about this topic. Jody had asked me why black women were not connecting with her regarding being childless. At the time I couldn’t comprehend why this would be a ‘thing’, I mean what has colour or race got to do with my ability (or inability) to grieve the loss of motherhood??? Well over a year on I can say that I am no longer surprised at Jody’s experience.

Jody’s question was the start of my own awakening around this issue. In the new edition of her book, Living the Life Unexpected I am quoted as saying that ‘If we cannot trust white people to listen to us when we speak about our daily experiences involving cultural issues, how can we trust them with something as vulnerable as our childlessness?‘ I can so hear your “Uhhhhs” right now…. Well the more awakened I’ve became, the more I realise that being black has so many layers that impact on my (our) existence in the white communities we are trying (for the most part) to survive in. From the many conversations that I’ve had with other black women it is evident that we do not feel safe or protected in white spaces. We feel that we cannot fully be ourselves. We are seen as different (even though there is a denial (from white people) around this) and therefore are treated differently. We often face systemic racism and microagressions which leads to us to being stereotyped; ‘the angry black woman’ comes to mind, as well as hearing comments such as “I don’t see your colour” or “I’m not racist, I have black friends” – the list goes on and on and on….

In her book ‘White Spaces Missing Faces’ Catrice Jackson wrote, …”a large number of women of colour in predominately white spaces are surviving at best… WoC know it’s not safe to share her true experiences in white spaces and thus learns how to survive the environment while sacrificing her true value… black women, in particular, have been forced to minimise their existence, silence their voice, watch their tone all of it done for survival. Because of the stereotypes, discrimination and racism that black women face, many of them consciously and unconsciously sacrifice themselves to be accepted. They shift”. So much plays out in our work places, in these white spaces, albeit unconsciously, that there is a sense of us wanting to be our true selves without apology or explanation so is it a surprise that black women do not want to share their private selves in white spaces? Quite simply when we are discussing something sensitive we want to be in a place where we can feel safe to be fully vulnerable.

In the new edition of her book, Jody mentions that ‘For black British and American women, childlessness is often experienced in the context of a complex and traumatic legacy of slavery and disenfranchisement…. ‘ “But slavery ended a long time ago why are we still talking about it???” Yea whenever I bring up this topic with my friends this is one of the reactions that I receive. But without recognising our past and understanding the truth behind this we (both black and white people alike) will not be able to move forward and have the kind of conversations that are needed in order to fully heal our differences. But first we need to see the difference for what it is.

I came across Post traumatic slave syndrome after hearing about Dr. Joy DeGruy Leary’s talk on the subject. “Post traumatic slave syndrome is a condition that exists as a consequence of multigenerational oppression of Africans and their descendants resulting from centuries of chattel slavery, a form of slavery which was predicated on the belief that African Americans were inherently/genetically inferior to whites. This was then followed by institutionalised racism, which continues to perpetuate injury.” Let’s just take a moment here…. how can black people move on from this traumatic experience when we never had the space to process the hurt and mistrust (of white people) that was experienced during slavery? I mean we all found Gateway Women because we were looking for a others who could understand the pain to our childlessness. If you needed to be around women who understood what you were going through how do you think black people have healed from this traumatic past if that pain has never been acknowledged or witnessed by others? So can you understand that the experience therefore lives on in our genetic memory, which essentially means that we are still (somewhat) enslaved? I was brought up hearing statements such as “what will the neighbours think?”, “don’t bring shame on the family”, others were told “don’t talk about your problems outside of the home” – where do you think theses messages came from? Ohhh there’s that light bulb moment! Yep they got passed down from generation to generation – from slavery to our present day – they live in our genetic memory. I believe that if this experience lives on in my genetic memory then it lives on in yours (as a white person) too. Morvia Gorden mentions that “her belief is that black people have inherited internalised oppression from 400 years of slavery as we’ve been taught that white people are better than us. Even though no living white person is responsible for slavery, BAME people still bears the scars if it…” As a 40 something year old I can see how much my race has and continues’ to silence us, let alone how society silences us. The experiences we encounter are so subtle, they are very difficult to talk about and be heard or even accepted.

The Womens Health Mag and Oprah Mag surveyed more than 1,000 women and reported that Infertility affects at least 12 percent of all women up to the age of 44. Yet only about 8 percent of Black women between the ages of 25 and 44 seek medical help to get pregnant, compared to 15 percent of white women. Black women were more than twice as likely as white women to say that they wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about their fertility issues with friends, family, a partner, their doctor, or even a support group. The stereotype that Black women don’t have fertility issues is real where fertility in black women is rarely discussed or acknowledged as a problem. Breeding myths from slavery perpetuate the stereotype that black women do not have problems conceiving. Apparently black people ‘bred like rabbits’. If fertility is such a problem for black people then why is this not being addressed by the professionals who are meant to be there to help us???

The Guardian newspaper (June 2019) highlighted the topic of colourism when they wrote that dark skinned women are less likely to be married than lighter skinned women, dark skinned girls are three times more likely to be suspended from school than their light skinned peers and that lighter skinned black people are perceived to be more intelligent educated black people. Arline Geronimus (public health researcher and professor at the University of Michigan’s Population Studies Centre) wrote; “…what I’ve seen over the years of my research and lifetime is that the stressors that impact people of colour are chronic and repeated through their whole life course… and that increases a general health vulnerability which is what cultural weathering is.” Arline used the metaphor of ‘playing the game Jenga’. They pull out one piece at a time, and another piece and another piece, until you sort of collapse. You start losing pieces of your health and well-being, but you still try to go on as long as you can. Arline mentioned there’s a point where enough pieces have been pulled out of you, that you can no longer withstand, and you collapse. Tom Jacobs, a senior staff writer at Pacific Standard, wrote an article at the time when Serena Williams was penalised at the U.S. Open for allegedly cheating and then expressing anger over the accusation. There are reports (of Objectification) that show, at least under certain circumstances, that black women are more likely than whites to be both sexually objectified and perceived as less than fully human. These unconscious biases on the part of whites can, of course, guide their beliefs and behaviours. Another study demonstrated that “Black women were more strongly implicitly associated with animal and object concepts, which indicates their greater dehumanisation compared to white women”. More recently I came across the Honey Pot commercial (Target created ad spots for different black-owned brands as part of their celebrations for Black History Month). White people saw the ad as being divisive and exclusive. Go onto YouTube and search for ‘the science agenda to exterminate blacks’ you will see an array of videos on this topic, which are quite disturbing.

We know that childlessness is not exclusive to race and it’s safe to say that we all agree that colour (or our culture) does not exempt us from pain – let’s face it we all feel and experience grief and loss. But the absence of being able to talk about my experiences as a black woman means that, as I mentioned at the start of my blog, I have to protect my vulnerable side especially if you are unable to show an understanding or acceptance of what I face on a daily basis. As I said if we cannot trust white people to listen to us when we speak about our daily experiences involving cultural issues, how can we trust them with something as vulnerable as our childlessness? Our experiences of race are often dismissed in our everyday interactions where it’s not readily accepted that our unique contextual experiences are intertwined with our daily-lived experiences as black women.

I love that Jody starts the new edition of Living the Life Unexpected with the words “This is a book about hope.” My hope is that we can recognise that everything starts and finishes with race.

My hope is that you can get past your white privilege and white fragility and hear that we need to talk about race, that it is ok to talk about race.

My hope is that my words will be accepted so that we can then start to have conversations where we are able to be openly uncomfortable to hear the truths that have been denied us for so many years.

I am so glad that Jody recognised a truth, from her experience that lead her to ask me why black women are not connecting with her. Jody was willing to not let her ‘privilege’ get in the way of, not only black voices being heard but also opening up a space for black women/ women of colour to reach out and know that they too can get the help and support that they so need. I wrote Dreaming of a Life Unlived to give women the hope that they could have a fulfilling life without children with the hope that other childless women would find their voices. Living the Life Unexpected gives me the hope that women of colour have a voice and a place where they can be heard and understood, where they can feel safe to be present too.

A brand new 2nd edition of Jody’s book, fully revised with fresh perspectives for a new decade, is coming out on 19th March 2020, and I have a free, personally dedicated and signed copy to give away. If you want your name to go into the draw, then comment on this post and I’ll pull out the winning name on Friday 13th March.

Don’t worry if you miss out, there are over 25 copies up for grabs across the rest of the blog tour between now and 20th March, or by signing up for Jody’s free webinar on ‘Coping with Mother’s Day‘ on 14th March for a chance to win.

If you’re in the UK, you can pre-order a copy of the book (paperback or ebook) here.

If you’re outside the UK you can buy it online via Amazon or The Book Depository (which offers free international delivery).

Jody Day’s Living the Life Unexpected Blog Tour

I am so proud to announce that Jody Day is having a ‘Living the Life Unexpected: World Blog tour to celebrate the release of the 2nd edition of her book Living the Life Unexpected, which I was fortunate to have the opportunity to also contribute to. The recent edition has not only helped me to work through my grief but it has reached and touched the hearts of so many other, not just childless women but the people in our lives that have found it difficult to understand the journey that we are on which is why I am so exited that Jody is releasing a new and updated version of her work.

The tour is from the 1-19th March 2020 comprising of a series of guest bloggers including yours truly… yes that’s me :). Visit the Gateway Women website for more details of how the tour will works.

And that’s not even the best part…. one of my lucky blog subscribers also gets a chance to win a free copy. All you have to do is to leave a comment (saying that you’d like to win today’s free copy) on my blog post on the 18th March. I will choose a winner at random and Jody will email you on 20th March with the good news. So mark the date in your diaries and look out for my post…

Now I know that you are all excited to read Jody’s 2nd edition you can pre-order a copy for despatch/collection on 19 March here’s the link for UK bookstores/online retailers